This Big Love

by Paul Chubbuck

There are a lot of good reasons not to give This Big Love to the world.

It doesn’t understand,
doesn’t have a place for something this big.

The corruption,
the pollution,
the extinctions,
the violence, inhumanity, and insanity.

They’re so insidious.
How could This Big Love have a place?
It would be ridiculed and cast aside.

And my needs and worries,
My heritage of reserve,
My failures and wounds.
These too demand
This Big Love be contained.

Yet still…there’s this amazing blue sky,
the moon last night,
and one more day to live.

Or perhaps not!
Who can say?

But at least there’s this moment,
this bite to chew and taste,
this sip of coffee,
this chatter in a café,
this line of poetry,
the man I helped yesterday,
the woman who helped me.

I know why the children squirm and squeal,
why the ponies cavort and gallop,
and the birds’ dawn chorus begins in April at 4:00 AM.

It’s This Big Love,
unburdened,
unconstrained,
unapologetic,
unashamed.

It took God 15 billion years
to mold far flung stardust into
croissants and coffee, a keyboard,
and my tapping fingers.

If it doesn’t yet seem perfect…
if the coffee’s too weak,
and the lover sometimes leaves,
I’ll grant God another 15 billion to fix it.

Or else wash my clouded eyes.

For I AM God’s eyes…and ears,
and fingers tapping.
I get to watch This Big Love,
which can no longer be withheld,
which has escaped my broken heart,
has flown out to witness the world,
and is astonished.

Paul Chubbuck is a practicing psychotherapist in Fort Collins, CO, using Somatic Experiencing® to help people release trauma, abuse, and loss. He may be reached at 970-493-2958 or through his website at www.releasingthepast.com.

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