Codependency: What About Feelings?

Codependency: What about Feelings? by Paul Chubbuck A question from my client: “I was excited about signing up for a class. But after the first session I’m anxious and doubtful that it’s really what I want. But if I drop it, I’m afraid I will feel even worse about myself.” What would you answer? Reply with […]

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Codependency: Why the Elephant Doesn’t Break Its Chain

Codependency: Why the Elephant Doesn’t Break Its Chain by Paul Chubbuck The circus visitor observed the elephant curiously and asked the caretaker, “Can’t that huge elephant easily break that little chain or pull that small stake out of the ground?” “Yes, he could”, said the caretaker, “but when he was just a little tyke, we […]


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Codependency Kills

Codependency Kills

Yes, Codependency Can Kill! by Paul Chubbuck Codependency: A relationship in which a person is overly reliant upon another for approval and a sense of identity, compelling them to control or appease the other.  The relationship may have many unhealthy qualities including addiction, enabling another’s addiction, inappropriate surrender of ones will to another, a lack […]


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Moving Towards Healthy Conflict

Moving Towards Healthy Conflict

Moving Towards Healthy Conflict Client: When I’m with Mom, I don’t remember to say in the moment: “Mom, your words are hurting me and I need you to speak more calmly or I will end this conversation.” I have said something along the lines of “I’ve had enough of you calling me up and abusing […]


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Eclipse

Eclipse

Eclipse by Paul Chubbuck I have a date with the Sun and the Moon at a place where mountains climb. The Sun and the Moon will not be late as they speed their journey cross time. They speed in their journey cross time. Earth, Sun, and Moon have so long danced, for millennia this meeting […]


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Stand Your Sacred Ground: Owning my Shame

Stand Your Sacred Ground: Owning my Shame by Grace Cooley Note from Paul Chubbuck: Last week a friend of mine, Grace Cooley, published a blog on her site which I felt so resonate with that I asked her permission to share it with you. If you’d like to explore her ideas further, you can find […]


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The Sound Love Makes

The Sound Love Makes

The Sound Love Makes by Paul Chubbuck Lately I’ve been contemplating and noticing how many, if not most, inspired and happy people are ones who have endured a lot of suffering and managed, somehow, to learn from it and create a new life around what they’ve learned. I’ve heard uncountable stories; the young musician, unappreciated […]


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Needing a “Tuneup”

Needing a “Tuneup”

Needing a “Tuneup” Client: I’ve been quite lethargic of late so haven’t followed up on your last suggestion as I should, but it’s on my internal to-do list. I’m writing because I’m struggling again – my whole mindset has shifted and not in a good way. For the first time since last autumn I find […]


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Alchemy

Alchemy

Alchemy by Paul Chubbuck In the dream I have two tank cars full of raw petroleum. How this came to be is secret and suspicious, but no one challenges, the gunk is mine. The question is, what now? The sticky, black sludge is an appalling mess on land or sea, terrible to rid from hands […]

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Your Grief is not Fashionable

Your Grief is not Fashionable A Poem by Paul Chubbuck Have you noticed how talk fades if we dare to share our deepest grief? Those who don’t turn away say, “she’s in a better place now,” “it’s for the best,” “there’s other fish in the sea,” “this too shall pass,” which means they have no […]

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