Individual Therapy with Paul Chubbuck

A 22-year old man contacted me with some difficult relationship issues. A few sessions later after he had made progress, I felt curious that he had sought me out. He was not well-educated, nor did he have much extra money – so it surprised me a bit.

I asked this young man how he had found the courage to contact a total stranger for help with these sensitive issues. He told me how when he was 12 and living in a major metro area, his family fell into crisis.

The state children’s services took custody of my client and his siblings, and he was in foster homes for a long time. As part of that, he saw a male counselor for a couple of years. He remembered how helpful that had been and how it had gotten him through a pretty awful and lonely time in his childhood.

So now, 10 years later, as a young man, when he found himself struggling again, that previous positive experience made it easy for him to seek the help of a professional counselor. I sent a silent message of gratitude to that unknown previous counselor who had helped a struggling kid and changed a young man’s life as a result.

Asking for help is getting easier.

Asking a total stranger for help when we are struggling or in pain isn’t necessarily the first thing that comes up for most of us. Aren’t we Americans supposed to be independent and self-sufficient?

Well, maybe not so much anymore!

A recent poll found that 18% of the U.S. population have received mental health treatment in the past two years. 80 percent of those considered it effective.

What happens in a session?

The individual therapy I offer is different from conventional talk therapy. We won’t need to spend hours or months uncovering your childhood and family history in detail.

But we will talk, to get acquainted and to explore what is important to you, to find the best starting point. My “body-centered” style of psychotherapy doesn’t involve touch or massage. Instead, it’s a way of helping you get more centered in your physical experience of your own strength and aliveness.

What kinds of problems might we address?

Did you know that our subconscious minds have a million times more neuronal connections and “processing power” than our conscious minds? It’s awesome that we can do so many things without having to think about it: like walking, driving, cooking, and cleaning.

However, it’s a problem when our unconscious minds are running us on automatic in problem areas of our lives. If we unconsciously and repeatedly alienate others, eat poorly, or choose our mates unwisely, then we need to become a lot more conscious about what is unconscious. This allows us to make different choices.

Individual therapy with me is a place to explore such issues that may have been troublesome in your life for some time:

• Repeating patterns or cycles that aren’t getting you what you want
• Discontent with job, career, or income level with possible roots in old family attitudes
• A repeated experience of loneliness or disconnection, social or spiritual
• Wanting to be an optimist, but fear-driven to expect the worst outcome, such as getting rejected
• A sense of feeling lost or repeatedly victimized, which may be familiar from childhood
• A tendency to be very hard on yourself; i.e., to have a harsh inner-critic
• Having regular battles with shame, resentment, anxiety, or other unpleasant or “negative emotions”
• Struggling with addictions to substances or to processes such as sex, eating, or shopping

The therapeutic path of healing which we explore together will very much be individual to you and the issues you want to work on, but it is guaranteed that we will explore ways of helping you get more in touch with your body, sensations, instincts, and inner guidance.

What about religion or spirituality?

In my experience, spiritual or religious resources, such as a feeling of connection to a source of spiritual help, can be a boon to therapy. I don’t promote a religion or spirituality and am supportive of whatever religious or spiritual teaching is helpful to you.

Do you do relationship counseling?

I offer individual therapy, not couple’s counseling. Even if you have relationship challenges, individual therapy is more appropriate than couple’s counseling if:

• The person you’re having difficulty with is not interested in doing therapy with you.
• You are not interested in doing therapy with them.
• You have had similar issues with several people, such as shyness, resentment, neediness, or getting rejected.
• You suspect that your unresolved personal issues are an obstacle to resolving relationship issues.
• You have little positive experience with working through difficult issues with a partner and fear any conflict will result in the relationship ending.

I would be happy to help you explore any of these issues and am confident that your relationship will improve as a result.

What benefits might I experience?

I will let the words of three former clients speak to this question. Find more of these stories here.

Client #1

In one of my Somatic therapy sessions with Paul, I had a memory of being left at a juvenile detention center and then transferred to a foster home as a teenager. I didn’t know this was traumatic for me until I shared how I felt so alone, afraid, and unwanted, and had a frozen type of reaction in my body as I told the story.

Much to my surprise, I had very little compassion for that part of myself and had seemingly rejected that unwanted teenage girl. Paul guided me through this experience and taught me to accept and love that teenage part of me that I had rejected decades ago. With Paul’s gentle and compassionate guidance, I learned the importance of self- love during that session.

It was shortly afterwards that I had to confront a “bully” in my family and did so without hesitation or anxiety. I had acquired the confidence to be assertive and stand up for myself with little regard as to how I might be perceived. It was as if someone else was speaking for me. I had regained something I had lost in my youth…..the courage to be myself. I am very grateful for my work with Paul. He is a genuinely kind and gifted healer.

Client #2

Thank you, Paul, for being such a great counselor; for sharing all these techniques I can do outside of sessions to become independent of a therapist, for seeing me as a complete person. For being so authentic and warm and open: as I said to my friend after our first trial session: that was weird, a therapist sharing his emotions, feeling into my sad story. That was so powerful, I felt acknowledged in my trauma, I could see you leading by example, I want to be able to get rooted and learn to deal with emotions quickly and authentically. No more added trauma please.

But I told him: IF I ever become a therapist, this is how I will do it, and I don’t care if it doesn’t fit our culture, this is the only thing that feels right: for me to stay sane as a therapist and not be stuck in other people’s emotions, showing the client empathy and how to do it. Because if I can open up and deal with emotions, where I’m coming from, everybody has the potential.

Client #3

I’ve seen ‘talk’ therapists and never found the insights to stick for long. When I met Paul, I was skeptical that somatic therapy would make any difference. Oh, how wrong I was!

My healing began when I started to feel gratitude for who I am. My past and the characters I had developed in response served their purpose. Paul helped me recognize that I was focusing on and hiding from pain and fear instead of giving myself love, health and happiness. His guidance helped me discover my strength to stop my 19-year nicotine addiction, add more compassion to my marriage, and start a path of self-discovery and growth. I recommend Paul to anyone who has been lost in the shadows and wants to take control of their life!